Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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