WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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