Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
