You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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