there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
