The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The power of my boobs compel you
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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