I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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