I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize