She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
