Im at strip club and am horny
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
