I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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