I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
