Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize