Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
