her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
