I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
