I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
wow bdsm is so cute
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
