Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
These tits shall not be calmed
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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