Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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