well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
