I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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