I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
