Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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