I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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