Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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