The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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