She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
