I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think your dad took our porno
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
