whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
