I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
