pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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