Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
vagina is talking i cant
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize