At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
my poor anus
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
