Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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