but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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