You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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