Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
