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i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
