ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
