I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
