Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
