and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize