and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
