I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
