I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
