There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
