I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
