Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
