Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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