i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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