He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
