last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
