The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm passing your future prison.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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