your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
