my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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