i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
