She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize